About two months ago when I was starting to think about creating this new blog to replace my old "Victory Will Wait" blog, I spent a lot of time thinking about the fact that I was done waiting for my husband to start addressing certain things. (That's why I gave him an ultimatum almost three months ago.) One night when I was driving in the car, I heard the end of the song "I Don't Want to Wait" by Paula Cole on the radio. Her words felt so right to me even though I didn't know all the lyrics to her song. I looked them up when I got home that night, and I was overwhelmed by how much this song related to my feelings about my marriage. I will always love the song "I will wait for you" by Mumford and Sons. It was a great theme song for me last year, and it will continue to hold a place on the soundtrack of my married life, but I've decided to make "I Don't Want to Wait" my current theme song.
"I Don't Want To Wait" by Paula Cole
So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for right
You know that if we are to stay alive
Then see the peace in every eye...
doo doo doo doo do doo do
do do doo doo doo doo dooo doo ooh
She had two babies, one was six months, one was three
In the war of '44...
Every telephone ring, every heartbeat stinging
When she thought it was God calling her
Oh, would her son grow to know his father?
[CHORUS:]
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now, what will it be?
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be...sorry?
doo doo oooh doo ooh do do ooh
He showed up all wet on the rainy front step
Wearing shrapnel in his skin
And the war he saw lives inside him still,
It's so hard to be gentle and warm
The years pass by and now he has granddaughters
[CHORUS]
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now, what will it be?
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be...sorry?
doo doo oooh doo ooh do do ooh
You look at me from across the room
You're wearing your anguish again
Believe me I know the feeling
It sucks you into the jaws of anger (oooooooh)
So breathe a little more deeply my love
All we have is this very moment
And I don't want to do what his father,
And his father, and his father did,
I want to be here now
So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for right
You know that if we are to stay alive,
And see the peace in every eye...
[CHORUS x2]
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now, what will it be?
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be...sorry?
doo doo doo dooo oooh do dooo doo
doo doo doo dooo do doooo oooh
doo doo doo do dooo do do
So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for right
You know that if we are to stay alive
Then see the love in every eye...
(You can click here to listen to it on youtube. I don't really love the music video for the song, so I'm linking to a clip showing the album cover for the Dawson Creek soundtrack since "I Don't Want to Wait" was the theme song for that.)
I feel that the lyrics about the husband's war experience are relevant to my husband's experience with sex addiction, and it just so happens that my children are about 2.5 years apart. I'd love to hear if this song speaks to your experience as a wopa, and if so, what sticks out to you.
To me, this song speaks to a lot of the negative personal and relational consequences of addiction, but I love the first and last verse (starting with "So open up your morning light") because to me they express how we can use our agency and worthy desires to invite the power of God into our lives. And I believe that power can release us from the jaws of anger and heal our anguished hearts.
No comments:
Post a Comment